Beyond Sunday

Not Alone - Week 2

• King of Kings Church

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In this Beyond Sunday episode, Dina, Julie, and Chad explore how real friendship leads to real freedom—through honesty, humility, and shared faith. Using the story of David and Jonathan, they share practical ways to build trust, fight shame, and create space for the kind of relationships that truly carry us.

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SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to Beyond Sunday, the King of Kings podcast, where we dive a little bit deeper into our message series and see what we're taking Beyond Sunday. My name is Dina Newsom, and I am so happy to have a couple great guests today. One that I just Julie, you were just here a couple of weeks ago. Chat, I feel like I haven't seen you here for a while, a long time.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm very happy to be back though.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. So my question for you today is in a couple days, it's National Guitar Day. Not sure if you know that.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

My question is three parts.

SPEAKER_03:

Three parts.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01:

Part one, do you play or have you ever played the guitar? Part two, what does the guitar make you think of? And part three, what's your favorite type of guitar? Oh boy. All right. We're just diving in. I don't know why I just felt inspired.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. So no, I don't play the guitar. I've never played the guitar. I have no idea how to play guitar. Um guitars remind me of my teenagerhood because Eddie Van Halen was like such a big, I don't know, cultural influence. And he played the guitar wonderfully. And I have to say, I like both the electric and the acoustic guitar, but just due to Eddie's influence, I'm gonna go with the electric guitar. All right. Eddie Van Halen. I didn't even know that. Eddie Van Halen. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So I know how to play the guitar. I play the acoustic guitar. Um, and it's pretty translatable between a bunch of different guitars. I learned in high school. Um, I had a long-term girlfriend and I broke up with her, and so I had a lot of time in my hands. And so I learned how to play the guitar. How nice.

SPEAKER_01:

You write songs about your breakup.

SPEAKER_00:

I did not. Nope. I learned Yes I Will by Hillsong, and it was great. Um, yeah, so I I love to play the guitar. When I think of the guitar, I don't know. I just think of fond memories on mission trips when I got to play and get to just lead other people in their worship. Um, so that that's what I think of, my favorite type of guitar. Um, either acoustic, just because that's what I have and that's what I that's what I love. But aside from that, probably a ukulele. I just they're fun, yeah. Somewhere over the rainbow. You can't go wrong with it, right?

SPEAKER_01:

So that's great. Nice. Yeah. My daughter asked for a ukulele for Christmas one year. She was, I don't know, older high school, and she learned to play several songs. And then that ukulele is probably somewhere on a shelf in my basement.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a fun movie. Very novel. It's easy. Doesn't the chords aren't too complicated?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I um at one for like about two days knew how to play about four chords on a guitar. Yes. Um, I could play the chords to every rose has its thorn. I poisoned when I was like a freshman in basement. I don't know what I have no idea. But I could do that. Um but since then, nope, nope, do not know how to play a guitar at all. I think it looks fascinating.

SPEAKER_03:

I think I would love to learn, but I think it's a handy skill in church ministry.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, for human. Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

Comes in handy for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Um guitars make me think of high school. I don't know why. That's just when I hear, and I don't know if it's just from music influences then, you know, from uh Van Halen or Prince. Yeah, you know, just everything. I got that one.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Guns and Roses, even what's his name with the you can't ever see his face. Yes. And and guitar hero. That's what the the other thing it makes me think of.

SPEAKER_00:

You're so educated. Just pulling these out of your back pocket.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm just a fountain of useless knowledge.

SPEAKER_01:

I feel like there were much fewer people to know. Now there's so many people in entertainment. And I feel like in in the 80s-ish, there was just like there were 10 big bands at any given time, and then they one a couple would fade away and new ones would come. Yeah. So you knew their names much better. Um, yeah, I get it makes me think of Guitar Hero because Guitar Hero, when it first came out and we were trying to play that with my family. Oh, that was a struggle bus. Yes. It's not at all like playing a real guitar, but it was, I was bound and determined to beat certain songs. And I, yes, and to beat my kids, but I I was not very good at it. Yeah. My favorite guitar song is Extreme More Than Words. The acoustic guitar chad won't know that either. Gen X out there. Do you feel me?

SPEAKER_03:

So true.

SPEAKER_01:

You'll have to look it up, Extreme More Than Words. There's also a very funny version that Jack Black and Jimmy Fallon did together. So good of it. I mean, and they're both actually phenomenal singers. So yeah. Anyway, I don't know why I just enjoy that song.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. So I don't know how to transition from that to, you know, not alone, but um, this was week two of our Not Alone series, and Pastor Seth Flick has taken us through the first couple weeks of this. Um, this week he was really talking about friendship and David and Jonathan. So, what are you guys taking beyond Sunday from this week's message?

SPEAKER_03:

I think for me, just thinking through the importance of um having a friend that you can confide the challenges of your life to. Um, I'm reading a book right now called Steps, and it's by John Ortberg. And he basically talks about matches up the Christian life to um AA's nine-step program. And in one of those nine steps, talks about like finding someone that you can talk to about your challenges with your addiction. And he said, having a confiding friend as a Christian is like opening the doors to a jail. Everything that you've been ashamed of, you've been struggling with, where you feel alone. Um, there's just so much freedom in being able to share the the the deepest aspects of your heart with someone and realize like there's grace, there's forgiveness. And and that when you've got a friend like that who says, you know what, you told me this, and I love you even more because of it, and there's no there's no shame or punishment there, it's just God's grace made manifest to you. So it's just encouragement to find that person and and pursue it is worth it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. No, the the devil shines in the dark and the grace of the Lord it shines in the light. And it's like the seasons in my life when I've had the hardest time is when I was the most isolated. When I was uh caught to focus on myself, to turn inward versus to actually turn outward, like you were talking about. And it's it's it's played true in my life, and I'm sure in all of your guys' lives as well, that when life's going hard, it's it's when you're probably the most alone. And it pushes us to turn in, but we actually need to do the exact opposite, right? To to push out, to to connect to that person you haven't talked to in a while and and care for that other person. And and Julie was talking about this morning in one of our meetings about the importance of empathy and caring for one another. And I I think so often we can view our relationships and being not alone as a a one-to-one, like I I give, you, you, you give relationship. It's a back and forth versus just the the beauty of sitting with someone that you know loves you and you know that you love them, and that's enough.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I think it was Simon Sinek that kind of refers to when you're being empathetic or really sit being with someone who's being vulnerable. You're sitting in the mud and he talks about sitting in the mud together. And that's just a a a reference that I thought of that when you're open and you're sharing your mud, you know what I mean? You're sitting in that mud and it's okay. You don't have to worry about getting out or whatever. It's okay to be in the mud for a bit.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I liked that image. I liked how um Seth really talked a little bit about how you can nurture those relationships. I feel like sometimes we just stumble into a friendship. I know, like my closest friend, our kids happened to be in kindergarten together and we met. And it just because we spent so much time on the school playground or at play dates or then in Girl Scouts together, we developed that very authentic relationship with each other where we told each other anything. But I felt like I lucked into it. I liked that Seth really encouraged that you can develop it, not just stumble into it. You know what I mean? By being open with that person or by um being vulnerable first, that kind of thing. Um, and I liked that encouragement from him at the end when he was talking about don't just, hey, what's a Super Bowl or something? You know what I mean? Like surface level talk, do something deeper. And I really, that's what I took.

SPEAKER_03:

That's good.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so the Bible um event that Seth was really talking about was the relationship of Jonathan and David. And I don't know, does one of you want to kind of sum up some of uh how that relationship went? No, I'm kind of putting you on the spot here. I didn't ask you. Sure, I'll go for it. I didn't ask you ahead of Jonathan.

SPEAKER_00:

Jonathan's dad, Saul, King Saul, who's the the king before David. Um Saul was uh was someone who who got appointed in that position. And after a while, Saul's heart was hardened, and so he didn't love, he didn't do what the what a king should do exactly what he was how he was called to. And so there was a new king that needed to be brought up, and uh David was the one. He was not the the strongest, not necessarily the smartest, but he was who God appointed. He had the gifts and the abilities needed to do the job, um, and and God's strength pulled him through the rest of the way and put him in a position to be under King Saul, and David needed help. He couldn't do it alone. He he caught himself in some hard times, a handful of pieces in the in the Bible, and Jonathan, who is Saul's son, uh naturally is the next in line for the throne. But the beauty that we'll talk about today is that Jonathan gave up his right to the throne in order to let David reign, how God intended. And it's such a such a beautiful example of brotherhood and of uh a relationship in the Bible because often we idolize the marital relationship, and while that's beautiful and important and from the Lord, we forget the friendship, the brotherhood, the the fraternity, the camaraderie with another person. And we don't get to see sacrificial love as often because we don't have to. It's easier to have that transactional relationship with another. And so Jonathan, again, he he gave up his right to the throne and and did everything in his power to allow David to rule. And it even says he he gave up his sword, he gave up his his power essentially to care for David. And it's it's a beautiful example of brotherhood from the Bible.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, thank you. Great job.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

So looking at that, how do you define a true Jonathan and David relationship in the context of your life and faith journey?

SPEAKER_03:

I think the thing that really stands out to me about um Jonathan was just his humility before um God's vision for what was going to be happening in the next stage of kind of Israel's life, um, this the in the life of the nation. And so I think Jonathan was able to um be humble and be willing to obey God because he had a relationship with God and had an understanding of God's purposes. So I think when you're considering like who might be that confiding friend for me, you're gonna be looking for someone who has a shared vision for a life of faith, someone who loves the Lord, someone who um really respects who God is and and walks in his path. And then who also is a humble person, I think it would be dreadful to be in a confiding relationship with someone who was super proud and thought they were an amazing Christian. Um that's just not gonna be very life-giving. And so looking for a person who who loves the Lord, who obeys and trusts the Lord, and um also who has a humility to them, those are two key qualities I'd look for.

SPEAKER_00:

I think to build off that, we treat so many things in lives as uh what we're gonna get from it. And we we have the mindset of what's our return on our investment or our investment of a friendship. And I I think that could be a very dangerous mindset in this in this situation and it in terms of a friendship because it's so much self, so much more selfless in a friendship than it is selfish. You you you don't enter into a well, yeah, in our world today, we enter into selfish relationships where oh, like I get to go to these games with these people, I get to they they are they're great cooks, or like they're there's some aspect that draws you to them. And I think that that could be healthy, but can also be flipped to be an unhealthy mindset that that we're just in it for ourselves. But I think when it turns from a a worldly friendship to a Jonathan and David friendship is when it's it's self-sacrificing, when it's actually hard. When you when you turn to that person and care for that person when it costs you something. And the time the the closest brothers I have are the are the ones where like we hurt each other sometimes, and it'd be easier to walk away. But we choose to go back to that person to to be with each other and to care for each other even when it's really hard.

SPEAKER_01:

I think and it this doesn't really come out in the biblical story of Jonathan and David, but I think it is probably true of their relationship. I think the being able to be um honest even when it hurts with each other. You know what I mean? Like being able to call each other out on things, that to me is also the sign of a real relationship that they're willing to help you keep walking the straight and narrow path or whatever your path may be. Um, I I don't know, I think that's important, especially when it's a relationship that you're trying to grow your faith in, or that you know, you have the connection of faith because you want somebody that's gonna be frank with you about, hey, there's this thing that you're doing or talking about, and where does that fit into your life as a Christian? You know, yeah, it is. I mean, I have friends that I think I have a good relationship with and they may hit a bump in the road like that, and I'm scared to call them out. You know what I mean? Like and I panic about it. And do I, you know, sometimes I have said stuff and sometimes I haven't because I think, oh, well, the relationship is is the relationship more important than that? You know what I mean? Is it better for me to continue to be an influence in their life or are they gonna shut me out if they don't like what I have to say? And that's a time I think when we just need to ask God for the courage to speak up. That's not easy at all.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. So Seth mentioned the sniper's paradox. He had his uh sniper scope on the stage. Um, and he talked about the sniper's paradox, which is, you know, basically that the sniper gets completely focused on his target, that he is completely vulnerable from behind or around him. So can you share a time when you were too focused on a single goal that you may have neglected essential an essential area in your life that needed attention? It's kind of a hard one.

SPEAKER_03:

So I I don't know if this was a goal. It was something that was like put on me. And and understand when I talk about this, like it was also a huge blessing. But um this summer, I needed to um step into kids ministry for a season, and it was very intense. And at the same time, my um brother-in-law died. And so I had these two things that just were that was like they were such big things that a lot of other stuff went to the wayside. And my relationship with the Lord was just kind of on autopilot. I dropped off in my devotional reading, you know, my time in the word and in prayer. Um I wasn't exercising. I wasn't really talking much to friends. It just was consuming everything. And um yeah, I don't know how what I would have done differently necessarily. Well, it probably would have been much better to stay in closer touch with the Lord. But I guess I'm saying as I'm looking back on it, I realize like I probably could have used some people saying, Hey, how are you doing? Um this seems like a rough time for you. And how are you maintaining your disciplines or what are you doing for yourself? So I did get off track in that way for about six months.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, something similar. Like I started my first full-time job here at King of Kings in July, and like I've never worked a full year-long job before, right? And I can get cited in on my my target to bring students to know the Lord, and it's it's it's seemingly selfless, but it turns out to be like selfish, right? When I neglect the people around me. Um and we're all we all have those moments where we focus too much on one thing, whether it's work, uh relationships or anything else. But yeah, you need that person to have your back, to have to be your spotter, to check in. Um Roger Timer. Uh he, one of our uh retired pastors now. Um, I met with him my first month of being here, and he he like I said, what's the biggest thing that I need to do as I approach starting ministry? And he said, Find a find a prayer partner. I was like, sure, yeah, prayer partner. That's what I'm that's what I'm gonna do with my time. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh-huh. And now I'm like eight months in. I'm like, yeah, I should have got a prayer partner. Um I need someone to call me out to be honest with and just to do life with. And Seth even said on stage, like, that can't be your spouse. You're already gonna do life with your spouse. And a lot of very wise people told me that don't rely on your spouse for things that they can't give you. And Caroline and I have done that. We've we've relied on each other to give each be our each other's husband and wives, to be each other's best friends, to be each other's everything. And it it shows the unhealthiness of that after after a while. Um so yeah, in whatever season you're in that you're focusing too much on, it's scary to ask for help. It's scary to ask that person, hey, you want to get uh you want to get a coffee? You want to go get a beer or something? But do it. It it it it'll be worth it. You'll look back in a month and be so grateful you asked that person to go and connect with.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think it's just hard when you're so focused on one thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

I know um a time for me with this was when I was going through my divorce. And my divorce was a very long process. It was over the course of four years that we were separated and together and separated together. But I know when at first, when my ex-husband had first decided he had wanted a divorce and moved out, I was so focused on fixing our marriage that I was not the parent that I should be. I was not the friend I should be, I was not the staff member that I should be for the church I was working at because I had put that above everything else. And I had validated it that, oh, this is so important, you know, this is worth, I have to be committed to this. I have to put in the time and the effort, but it was not at a healthy level. And I have a lot of regrets about that, you know, um, about that time period in my life and what I missed as a parent or what I, you know, wasn't there in the way that I wanted to be for. But, you know, hindsight is 2020. And when you're stuck in that moment, it's really hard to see that without having somebody point it out. And it was actually a friend of mine that pointed it out to me that was after a long period of time that was just like, hey, you need to check yourself. And I argued and, you know, again, validated that no, this is I'm I'm gonna salvage this marriage, but um, it was not uh at a in a healthy way.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so another thing that Seth talked about is he talked about having a dope book, which I got a big kick out of his dope book. Um but the practice of having a dope book and shooting is used as an analogy for sharing struggles. How do you trust someone enough to be vulnerable to serve as your dope book?

SPEAKER_00:

It it's it's a matter of trying it out and seeing like building or breaking trust. I don't think you can truly trust or not trust someone until you've had it had experiences with them. And in the dope analogy of data on previous engagements that you've you've seen trust being built before, um you continue to give them things and trust that they're gonna love you. Back and sometimes that means it's gonna crash and burn. Um and I I would take that as it's not the person you were meant to do life with and start praying again. Uh seek the next person. And I don't know. We found my wife and I have found that having friendships as a couple is off is much more like dating than I haven't ever expected it to be. If we'll go and get dinner with a couple and we'll even be like, what'd you think? Like, did you like how they did this? Did you like what they did? Uh, do you like who they were? Do you like their hobbies? Do you think we could have a lot of different things? Did you hear what they said about this? Yeah. And it's like, are we gonna have a second date? Maybe. And like, like that, like you test, you you try out. And the in friendship specifically, in action is the worst thing for someone to not have that invite, to not even figure out if you can trust that person or not. It's scary, but it's just a matter of going for it.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a big risk.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a risk. It is. Um, so going back to that book where he talked about how do you find a confiding friend? And he said first, and Zach or uh Seth talked about this and just said, ask the Lord, like, hey, God, I'm really desiring to find someone that I can talk to. Would you please bring someone across my path that or is there someone already currently in my life who could fill that role? I think thinking about um the person's character is are they a person of character? Um, are they a person who talks a lot out of school and shares things that they probably shouldn't be? That would not be a wise person to confide in. Um, and then he said, if if if you've prayed, this person has come to your mind, they feel like a person you can really respect. Um, you're not gonna jump into the deep end immediately and tell them absolutely everything. It's kind of like canceling Gretel. You're gonna put out a breadcrumb and see how they handle the breadcrumb. And then if that goes well, you're gonna give them a little bit more. So it's not just like an all or nothing. It's similar to what Chad is saying. Like you're just gonna see how they handle certain pieces of information and then take it from there.

SPEAKER_01:

Have you ever had that experience where you meet someone new and they do just open wide the floodgates of all of their whole life? And sometimes it's a little intimidating to be on the other end of that too, of how do I receive this and what exactly are they wanting from me? So I think sometimes that can be a pushback almost to the relationship, too, of how that's received.

SPEAKER_03:

And I would say, you know, don't give yourself like a false um deadline. Like this person, I should be telling them within two months everything. It may take longer than that. If you think about how natural friendships develop, it's not like it's on, it's not a speedy thing, usually. So just give yourself a little bit of a break.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's very true. Very true. Um, I also think that you talking about the the trust. I don't forget what she said, the trust something, but it makes me think of um Brene Brown uses the trust jar and you fill your marbles with trust every time somebody contains something, then you add a marble to the jar. And if they break that trust, you dump them out and you start over. And if you've dumped out the marbles enough times, then maybe that's an a relationship that you have to walk away from. But um, I think that's a learning role. And I try to think of that sometimes in I wonder how many times they've dumped out the marbles on me. Like when have when did I break their trust? Or when did I, how can I be the better friend in the relationship? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. What roles do you think that prayer and God's word play in strengthening friendships and community ties?

SPEAKER_00:

Everything. Prayer partner. Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah. I mean, it's what grounds me personally. It's the it's God's true inspired word that He's given to us for that we can live our daily lives. And I think every personal relationship should be structured in God's word, every uh marital relationship, dating relationship, friendship, like every relationship should be surrounded. And it goes back to what Julie said. Like surround yourself with people that are going to value that more than you do. I was talking to Scotty earlier, and we were talking about friendships and how hard it is to make friends. And I was like, Yeah, look at your five closest friends, and that's who you're gonna be. And so you have to be cautious with who you let in and who you don't, because it it matters. Um, but no, it's it's exactly what what Julie was talking about that it starts with prayer and it ends with prayer. It it starts with going to God's word and it ends with going to God's word. There's there's a time in college where um me and a few buddies, like we kind of all simultaneously realized, like, hey, we don't have a ton of like we have friends, we don't have like deep, close friendships. Like, let's meet weekly. And in it was in that summer where we started meeting, like we actually like got to know each other better. It sounds crazy. Like we we started with prayer, we started with a Bible study, and then we just talked and we were vulnerable with one another and we shared what's going on. And there there was there's few times in my life where I've been more connected with myself, with others, and with God than when I was with a close group of guys that actually I knew cared for me and I cared for them back.

unknown:

That's really good.

SPEAKER_03:

And I think about the interaction that scripture has with real life. So if I'm spending time in God's word, there's gonna be conviction that happens. Um, Julie, you're not measuring up right now. You're not doing what you need to be doing. And I'm not saying that God is his grace covers all of that, right? But as someone who wants to continue to grow in sanctification, I want to look more and more like Jesus. And so as that conviction comes, how am I going to deal with that? And I think it's a lot easier to deal with that when you have a friend who's encouraging you, who's praying for you. That's where the praying aspect comes in, um, is asking you, hey, how's that going? Or I know you were struggling with this. Um, what's going on with it? And so scripture and your real life work hand in hand together. That's when it's really powerful. And having someone there to ask you about that just makes a huge difference.

SPEAKER_01:

I think it's always really interesting when um like you have a friend that you bonded with over, you know, social things or common interests or whatever, and then you find out, you know, that you're both Christians or whatever. I think it's so interesting to me to have a conversation about scripture with someone that I normally would talk about other shared interests with and how their perspective can be so different or how much insight they can bring to scripture or what when that verse or that passage spoke to them in their life. And I just think it adds another layer, you know, of um, I don't know, just depth to the relationship. Yeah. Yeah. To learn more about what's your take on this when you're looking at something together. Because even though you share a lot of commonalities, there's still different steps that you've taken in your life. And I really like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah. I I had an image in my mind when we were talking about this, just like that when you are either in the word personally or in the word with community, like there's different opinions that are circling around in those conversations. And like rubbing happens of different opinions, and that causes friction. And when friction starts to hit, people walk away because it's uncomfortable. And I would turn that, and from my experience, when friction starts to hit and there's there's some heat coming on when you push into that, that's when refining starts to happen. And that's when you actually become a better follower of Jesus and a better friend and a better spouse and uh a better child of God. And I think we need to lean into that friction more than we than we often want to.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know what verse it is, but iron sharpens iron that they're gonna be. Yeah, it's in the Bible somewhere. Yeah, yeah, somewhere.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

You're turning your coal into a diamond baby. Okay, so we talked a lot about things to do or whatever, but what's one actional step? Actionable, let me try to talk here. What's one actionable step for someone who desires to deepen their relationship with someone they trust but doesn't really know where to start? What could be a first step?

SPEAKER_03:

I think if you don't have a person that feels like that could be a friend that you could confide in, you're gonna just be praying about that. I think that's you know, Seth said let's make that our first thing that we're gonna do. And then if there is someone in your life, you know what? I'm a fan of just sharing what's on your heart and just putting it out there. I don't, I don't know if there's a sneaky way to just start to talk to people more about stuff. I mean, if that's really a desire, why don't you just put that out there? And if they're like, ugh, I don't that ooh, that sounds scary. I don't think I want to do that. There's your answer.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um and then just kind of ease into it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's really good. We we play on assumptions too much. Uh there's been times where I've I've had a potential for someone that's God put in my heart. And I'm like, oh, like they don't need somebody else. Like they already have enough friends or they already have enough connections. Um and it's it's exactly what you said. Like, maybe you ask them, like, hey, this has been on my heart to have a have a closer friend in Christ. And would you be willing to be that person to me? Because then there's not only it's out in the open, but there's accountability. And it's like, hey, you said this last week, but you haven't acted on that. And like then, that's like, okay, if someone ever says that to you, that's a sign. Spend more time with them, care for them, pray with them, pray for them. Yeah, just take the leap, push into the friction of uncomfortability.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so scary. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. I would say the first step is pray for courage. Pray for the person, pray that they're revealed, but pray that you have the courage to step up and do that. Like that's, I think sometimes where we get stopped is just not having the courage to take that conversation. It's so scary. Even with people that you know are Christ's followers. You know what I mean? Let alone friends who maybe you don't really know what their real relationship with Jesus is like. But yeah, it's it's it's just frightening.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I mean, take it anything that's good for you, like working out, for example. I don't like to work out that's scary too. Before and honestly, during. Um, but every time I leave the gym, it's like that was good. Like I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_03:

You never say that was a waste. Right, exactly. Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And same thing with friendships. It it's scary. It's scary before, and sometimes it's really scary during. But you always walk away more comfortable and more confident and just knowing that that was the right move. It's really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, all right, final takeaways from this week's message. What you got?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I think that um it's for freedom that Christ has set us free. And so let's not be slaves anymore. And he's set us free, and um and it's good to exercise that not just with him, but with one other person. I think there's just something very powerful about talking to a person about things you're deeply struggling with and receiving acceptance and grace. It just makes God's grace that much more real to you. So um just let's take a one step of bravery this week and um trust that God wants this for us and will provide this for us because he's a God of freedom.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and in our high school connect group last night we talked about childlike faith. And I think that's every time we this gets brought up, I always go back to that, like just like the simplicity and nature of like it is not good for man to be alone, find someone else. And so my takeaway is just like don't complicate it. It it gets muddy really quick whenever you complicate it. Find someone and care for them and let them care for you and leave it at that. We can get caught up with all the different layers of oh, but did did they like when I say this? But they're they do this and care for someone, let someone care for you.

SPEAKER_01:

I think it's just um really me to me the encouragement to trust, to trust and make put yourself out there. I I think of the Jonathan and David story, and when Jonathan was like, I'll shoot the arrow, and if it's in front of you, it's the you know, don't come back. And if it's behind you, then it's okay to come back, or I maybe have those flipped around. I don't want anyone shooting an arrow at me. Like I'm not sure that I would trust someone no matter how good they were. But David did, and this was, you know, okay. And I just think of that level of trust of okay, how can I put that into my relationships?

SPEAKER_00:

You know, there's a danger to friendships.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And I think it's it becomes more and more so. Like I feel like that's a much higher level of perceived danger now than 10 years ago or 20 years ago. Um, I think people are hurt more often. And I think that they internalize it more. Yeah. But it's just continuing like like you said, God didn't build us to be alone. He built us to be together, to meet together and encourage each other.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I wonder if the if the danger as we get older is perceived to be much higher, but in reality, it it remains the same.

SPEAKER_01:

It's the same, yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And we inflate it and catastrophize it and make it this big thing.

SPEAKER_01:

It could very well be.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Just care for someone and let someone care for you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's so simple when you say it like that. Yeah, not scary at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, like think of kids on a playground. Hey, you're cool. You like to play this game. Let's go play this game. And they go and play the game.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Like they didn't worry like where they were at or what they were doing. They just did the thing that needed to be done.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. Again, that childlike faith. Yeah. Good show. Well, thank you guys so much for being here today. Yeah. We are going to continue this sermon series next week. And until then, let's keep living our faith. Beyond Sunday.

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